Thanks to https://youtu.be/PqWZnNy8XGA
I will try my best to note down my feeling and diary for myself. One day when I read it, I can feel my feeling at the moment.
Last night, my daughter stay at her grandma's house. I need to remind myself to read her more. My son and I went back home at 9pm+ and he played a while at the community hall. Glad to see him playing while chit-chating with those aunties.
When we reach home, my son happily called his father. I went to bath, while expecting his father will take care the son. Disappointed when done bath with seeing my son sit on father's lap with i-pad. I reminded him again. Where is the attention from a father? (whispered to myself: and a husband?) I knew he then put on the clothes from washing machine, should I glad? With my wet clothes in tong still at outside.
I'm folding the clothes while building wood tower with Zac, he is busy with the Youtube and phone and laptop. It's late, 11:30pm. I'm still folding the clothes. I need to learn a way and strike for balance between house chores and kids.
I wanted to learn to love him, but without courage how long can I go? When he will want to spend more quality time with kids? I hope I can reduce the tv time and play with kids and read for kids more. Reminding myself: Love is everything, I should always start from myself.
